What’s Behind the Mask?

We’re stepping into October, and with it comes that familiar spooky feeling. It got me thinking about fear and asking myself, What am I afraid of?

The first image that came to mind was a mask. One of those beautiful face masks you might see someone wearing during Mardi Gras. You can see their eyes, but you can’t quite tell who they are or what’s going on behind the mask.

I think we all wear masks at times. We wear them to protect ourselves, to fit in, or to get through a difficult day. We might say “I’m fine” when we’re not. We might smile when we’re hurting or stay quiet when we have something to say. I don’t think masks are bad. Sometimes they serve a purpose.

But I’ve also experienced what it feels like to take one off. To tell the truth about how I feel, even when my voice shakes. To let someone see me without trying to manage what they think. It can feel scary at first, but there’s freedom in it too. I can breathe. I don’t have to keep track of who I’m pretending to be.

My goal is to live authentically. That doesn’t mean sharing every thought with everyone or leaving myself open to people who haven’t earned my trust. Being completely true can feel like standing naked, and of course that leaves room for judgment. I get to decide where and with whom I feel safe enough to do that.

Still, when I notice myself hiding something, I try to pay attention. I ask myself, What am I afraid will happen if this part of me is seen? Sometimes I need privacy. Other times, that question points me toward something within myself that I’m ready to understand more deeply.

So this October, I’m thinking about the layers I wear. Which ones still help me? Which ones have become so familiar that I’ve forgotten they’re there? And where might I be ready to take one off and feel that freedom again?

Namaste — Karen