What Would Pink Jesus Do?

Recently, I inherited a pink Jesus statue from my dear friend Julie Smiley. And yes… Smiley absolutely lived up to her name when she handed me a pink velvet version of the big man himself. that had been sitting on her shelf full of tarot and oracle decks.  Honestly, I never expected to be drawn to a statue of Jesus, but the moment I laid eyes on him, it was love at first sight.

He’s funky.
He’s mysterious.
He looks like a cross between a caveman, Bigfoot, and Jesus — which, frankly, feels very on-brand for my life.

I was instantly drawn to him. There’s something comforting and hilarious about a velvet Jesus who looks like he might wander out of the forest at dusk, offer you wisdom, and then disappear behind a pine tree.  He’s perfect.

And then… I discovered the best part.

He’s also a Magic 8 Ball.

Yes. You can ask Pink Jesus a question, turn him over, and read your answer right there under his feet. Divine guidance, velvet edition. Answers range from “Hallelujah” to “Sinner” to my personal favorite, “I’ll ask my Dad…”

I mean… come on. That’s just good theology.

Pink Jesus now lives happily on my kitchen counter, nestled between a vintage glass squirrel, some ceramic mushrooms, and a large chunk of amethyst. Honestly, it feels like exactly where he belongs. A little altar of whimsy, humor, and good vibes. He seems very happy there — and I talk to him often. About life. About choices. About what’s for dinner. You know, the big stuff.

This little velvet figure has quietly reminded me of something important: spirituality doesn’t have to be heavy, rigid, or serious all the time. Sometimes wisdom comes wrapped in pink velvet. Sometimes answers arrive with a wink and a laugh. Sometimes the most sacred thing you can do is smile, lighten up, and keep your heart open.

So… what would Pink Jesus do?

He’d probably tell you to laugh more.

Trust yourself.
Ask better questions.
And maybe not take everything so seriously.

He might also suggest keeping a little magic on your kitchen counter — right next to the squirrel.

Hallelujah. 💗✨

PS: I want to say this clearly and from the heart: I do believe in Jesus. I also believe in many spiritual guides, teachers, and paths that help people find love, compassion, and meaning in their lives. For me, spirituality isn’t an either/or — it’s a wide, welcoming circle. Pink Jesus doesn’t replace anything sacred; he simply reminds me that divine wisdom can show up in many forms (like the Squirrel), cultures, and expressions. If it brings you closer to kindness, laughter, humility, or love, then I believe it’s pointing in the right direction.