Life is pretty great. I don’t mean right at this moment, but life in general.Even on the crappiest of days, life is pretty great. There is always something to be grateful for. The past few weeks have felt like a whirl-wind around the Adamski house. It has been one of those times where everything seems to happen at the same time. One of those “go, go, go and don’t stop until you are exhausted” times. As I sit here typing, I feel very balanced, which honestly surprises the heck out of me! I really have changed, and feeling/seeing the results is awesome! (did you just have a vision of me jumping on Oprah’s yellow couch?……I’m just really excited and happy, don’t worry)
The “mama” part of me has been the busiest, with the high school graduation of my youngest child, out of town guests, planning and hosting parties, college orientation, and so on. The “shama” part of me has been super busy too, as I am slowly easing into a busier and more regular healing schedule with my clients. Oh, plus there’s my HR job, class studies, and other life stuff. I know you have felt this way too – we all have stuff, and sometimes there is too much of it at once. My family doctor refers to this stuff as “your bags of shit”. And then, we all have that nasty little place in our head that we go to at times when we let our bags of shit start to weigh on us.
In past years, this kind of busy activity would have sent me into an anxiety frenzy, and I would have most likely ended up getting sick via exhaustion. In past years I would have felt sorry for myself during these busy times, and I most likely would not have enjoyed the celebration/event because I would have been oozing stress. Now, I would have looked like I had it all together and I was having a relaxing and fun time, but that would have been a big lie. I guess what I am trying to get at is I am now consciously changing my behavior to reflect my true self. I’m still working on it, but I am very proud of the progress I have made so far. It feels great! Having my Bars© run has also helped me find and stay my true self. Plus, running my Bars helped me easily get rid of some really heavy bags of shit. It’s been over 6 weeks since I had my Bars run, and I don’t yet feel the need to have them run again. This healing technique is a good match for me.
Recently, I realized that I now have a pretty clear understanding of the things that trigger me and send me to a negative place of stress and anxiety. For me, when I am in this yucky place, I may at times feel stupid, overweight, or even unloved. But here’s the thing….I know what leads me to this place now. I know the things that can hook the core of my soul and literally pull me down. They are:
NEED TO PLEASE OTHERS
Now that I know these are slippery areas for me, I am conscious of my behavior(s) when I feel like I am allowing myself to be pulled into a negative place.
So, sitting here after a whirl-wind crazy few weeks, I feel grateful that I was able to truly enjoy moments of being with family, and not worry too much about what the house and yard look like, or heaven help me, the garage (imagine dramatic cliff hanger music….dun, dun, duuunnnn). I’m grateful to now understand that doing my best is good enough. Pushing me too much is kind of like bullying myself. I like myself. Pushing too hard to please others is wasted and/or misdirected energy. And there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s not personal, it’s just the way things work.
Yep, life is pretty great……bags of shit and all!